Celebrate your wins...

Ok, so last Thursday I had an absolute meltdown which I thought I might share with you all given one of my intentions of this blog was to be open and honest about my journey. I'd arranged to arrive at work late due to my blood test and so my day started well with a bit of a sleep in. Thursday was my first official Cohen's weigh in and so I was excited. I mentioned in last Friday's blog, Cohen's Diet Weigh In; Week 4, that I was a bit disheartened when the consultant told me that weight loss generally slowed to about 4 kg a month. I didn't, however, mention that this unhappy news was followed by a series of unfortunate events that sent me into a bit of an emotional tailspin. Many of the events were things that under normal circumstances might not have bothered me too much, but on that particular day all built up on top of each other and made me feel like I was about to crack. Literally.

What I noticed was just how much I used to use food and alcohol to numb emotional pain and stress. My desire to eat all afternoon was ferocious. I was aware that I was physically satisfied by what I had eaten, but the cravings to eat more were HUGE. As were the cravings for wine. Included in the series of unfortunate events were 3 things which I can only say I have no idea how I said no to. Firstly, there was a large plate of delicious sandwiches on the table at work. Including my favourite ones with chicken and mayonnaise. Secondly, somebody literally walked past me with a chocolate cake and offered me a slice. Thirdly, my boss, seeing my emotional state, offered me a glass of wine at 3 pm. I still don't know how I managed to say no, but I did.

I guess I just wanted to share that what I took out of this was to celebrate the wins, and forgive yourself your losses. It was a monumental win for me to triumph over my emotional cravings for food and alcohol. I think people who do not suffer from this type of food issue really don't comprehend how hard it is to break free from. All I can say is that I can see how I became overweight. The desire to eat and drink to quell my emotional upset was phenomenal and not to be underestimated as I go forward on this journey. It obviously is something I will have to work on, possibly for the rest of my life. But for now I am just content to observe it as it happens and celebrate that it didn't beat me, because as I've already said, I'm still not quite sure how I made it through that day without succumbing to a glass of wine!

M. x